It’s the beginning of a new year, and I am in the midst of some significant difficulties and life change.  2023 was the most difficult year I’ve experienced in my 45 years of life, and as I look forward into 2024 I’m met with what can only be described as uncertainty.  Everything I know and care about is up in the air. In seasons such as these there’s no such thing as easy days – each day holds challenges to overcome and waves of emotion to navigate. Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe you are there right now.

Over the last 10 years I’ve learned a lot about myself and the habits that help keep me centered. For me, I’ve learned that I respond best to extreme focus, discipline, and self-sacrifice. A process of pouring myself out, physically and spiritually. If I don’t have something significant to work towards that requires all three of those disciplines, the consequences are severe.  So I went for a trail run in the rain.

Rain wasn’t originally in the forecast when I planned my time on the trail. Thankfully, in my years of training with endurance sports I’ve learned that you train in whatever elements exist because you never know what race day is going to hold. The bottom line was I woke up knowing that I needed to get my feet on the trail.  I needed to do some soul work and drop some weight from my shoulders. Historically when I attempt to talk myself out of a workout, I know that’s when I need it the most. I needed it today.

The run was hard. The first mile was all uphill – a steep climb with switchbacks and puddles. My run soon crawled to a hiking pace thanks to an elevated heart rate, labored breathing and burning calves.  I knew that once I reached the summit it would be rolling climbs and descents for a few miles; I just had to summit.  It’s in this discomfort that I often hear from God; when I’m at that place where my body and brain says to stop is where God shows me I’m still alive and in my flow. It’s here that I’m truly comfortable and I know I have a lot more to pour out.

While I’m in my flow, when everything hurts, I become keenly observant of myself and my surroundings. I can take the feelings and observations while in this state and apply them to the difficulties and emotions I’ll return to when my run is over.  They’re parallels to the season of change I’m immersed in.  This is one of the most powerful tools that comes out of these moments, and it’s why I categorize it as soul work. The physical and mental expense is an investment in my soul.

The initial climb in todays run is no different than the early stages of engaging any challenges in life. It’s unbelievably discouraging to sit in a valley and be unable to see the summit because it’s so far away. Knowing the hazards and challenges that await your next steps. The fear and uncertainty of what lies ahead. On normal days you may be able to see the summit but when it’s raining in life, visibility is poor.  Motivation or purpose may be lacking, so we rely on discipline to help us take those first steps.  Those who quit are only focused on the finish line and hate the process. Those who summit are the ones who love the process and are willing to tolerate the grind. The pain. They do it for themselves because they trust what the process produces within them.

It’s unbelievably lonely to grind through difficult situations. Challenging elements turn people away. Not only do we have a tendency to avoid difficult situations, but we’ll often go through challenges alone because those close to us don’t always know how to be a help when the rain is pouring down. We don’t always know what to say. We may not feel like we have the right gear or equipping to provide help.  We need to remember that those going through challenges may not need us to solve a problem, provide a nugget of wisdom, or even provide an umbrella or respite from the rain. Often all we need when we’re soaked in the storms of life is knowing that we have someone alongside of us that supports us. People that want us to win and love us enough to sit in the rain with us.

I saw 5 people on a trail that would be teeming with people in normal conditions. None of them were smiling, and none of them seemed to be enjoying the process despite being well equipped for the rain. Each person was clearly suffering and that’s where there focus was directed, which is key. Something I’m unbelievably thankful for in the middle of my struggles is the joy that I carry with me while I suffer. I’m not naive enough to believe that I won’t feel pain when the world is crashing around me. I know it’s going to hurt. I know the uncertainty can be terrifying. But joy does not only exist in the voids of trouble. Once you have laid down your pride and cease to exist for self, you can experience joy in the midst of pain. You can be grateful even when things aren’t so great. I gave each person I passed a message of encouragement just for being out there, and only one person responded with a smile.

I have an exercise I practice daily which has been an unbelievable help in this rainy season I am navigating.  At the end of each day I write down 3 things I experienced that I was completely powerless over. For each thing, I write a tangible response I can have that would be helpful. For example, “I am powerless over the rain on my run today.” There is literally nothing I can do to change that circumstance. Choosing the appropriate response is key. I could respond with “I can reschedule my run for another day,” but a better response would be, “I will complete my run regardless of the conditions knowing that it will make me stronger and more disciplined than I was yesterday.”

This one discipline has helped me in several ways. First and foremost, it’s helped foster an attitude of humility. As a person who has always felt like I can influence and accomplish just about anything, it helps me to keep my pride in check and remember that there are just some things I can’t control. That I’m not that good. Second, because the discipline of doing this daily is creating a new habit for me, it helps me in real-time when I encounter situations out of my control. When one of my kids does something that would normally frustrate me, I’m able to respond in a reasonable way and build upon that relationship rather than have to apologize for flying off the handle later.

As you move forward in 2024, remember that there are things out of your control, summits you can’t see, and people along the way that need encouragement. Control the controllables, focus on your attitude and effort. Cheers to running in the rain.